It's not easy to be me.....
by KrissyReminisce
Summary: Harry's not feeling on top of the world, then again was he ever? R/R Stand-alone


A/N: Hello all ****

A/N: Hello all!! How are you? This is focuses mainly on Harry's thoughts.

My deepest sympathy to all those affected by the attack. I myself watched the towers go down from the television in math class.

We're a strong country, we'll pull through.

Disclaimer- I don't own Harry potter or anything affiliated with him and his world of magic. I also don't own the words in italics, that is a song that was written by **Five for Fight**, It's called Superman.

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It was the summer after the third task, Harry was up in his room, laying on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.

A pile of letters lay unopened at the foot of his desk. Harry didn't open them because he already knew what they contained, questions of what happened.

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I can't stand to fly

I'm not that naive

I'm just out to find

The better part of me

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Harry knew that most of the letters were from the Daily Prophet and those he particularly didn't want to open.

More often than not Harry found himself wondering what life would be like if he was just a regular wizard who had parents who loved him. He wished Voldemort had never existed and that everything was at peace.

"Just useless hopes and dreams." he muttered to himself darkly.

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I'm more than a bird...I'm more than a plane

More than some pretty face beside a train

Its not easy to be me.

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Harry wondered why people liked him. Was it because he was famous? It seemed as if everyone liked him just because he was famous. What if Ron and Hermione were his friends so they can say, "We're Harry Potter's best friends."

Sometimes wondering about the truth and possibly the fact that you may actually living in a world of lies and secrets can break your already fragile heart.

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Wish that I could cry

Fall upon my knees

Find a way to lie

About a home I'll never see

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Harry's dark thoughts turned to his godfather, of whom he loved with all his heart and soul. Would he ever get to see his real home? Hospitality? Love? Acceptance? 

Harry shook his head, he wouldn't have ANY of that while Wormtail was with Voldemort.   
  
He would have to stay in this hellhole that contains the Dursley's.

Harry sat up and wiped his eyes of tears that were flowing down his cheeks. 

"I'm Harry Potter, I'm not supposed to cry, I'm supposed to have a happy life!" Harry scolded himself sarcastically.

It did nothing for the tears continued to streak his cheeks.

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It may sound absurd...but don't be naive

Even Heroes have the right to bleed

I may be disturbed...but you won't concede

Even Heroes have a right to dream

It's not easy to be me

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When Harry first arrived at Hogwarts and learned about Albus Dumbledore, that's who he wanted to be like. Brave, wise, likable, amusing, mysterious Albus Dumbledore.

But, Harry thought, I can't tell anyone, for they would tell me that I'm already all those things and much more.

"But I'm not." Harry said. "I'm a 15 year old boy who lives alone in the world."

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Up, up and away...away from me

It's all right...You can sleep tonight

I'm not crazy or anything.

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Harry pulled himself out of bed and happened to glance at the paper laying discarded on his floor, it claimed he was crazy, disturbed and so much more.

He sank to his knees and laid his head on the windowsill. Why can't people just leave me alone!

I didn't ask for any of this! I don't want to be famous! Why is it always me? Why, why, WHY?!

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I can't stand to fly

I'm not that naive

Men weren't meant to ride

With clouds between their knees

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Harry thought of flying off on his broomstick, but jerked his hand to his chest. What if someone saw him? Even more unwanted attention, negative attention.

When he was at school he flew to take his mind off things, his troubles, worries, everything. But, he realized, someone was always watching him from below.

No one knew how sad he had become over the months. He figured it started in the middle of his 4th year, things for him started to change. He just wasn't happy anymore. The only people that made him smile a true, genuine smile was Sirius and his idol, Albus Dumbledore.

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I'm only a boy with a silly little scar

Looking for love that seems so far

Only a child with a silly little scar

Looking for special things inside of me

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He, had, many times considered taking his own life, but Sirius' face in his minds eye made him stop and go back into his room and lay face down on his bed.

He didn't really see anything special about himself except that he was his father's son.

He heard a small tap on his window and looked up from his hands and saw a dark figure. It moved and the moonlight illuminated his face....it was Sirius.

Harry smiled through his tears, and opened the window and backed up to let his godfather in.

Sirius looked so much better, so much healthier than even himself.

Before Harry could utter a sound he was enveloped into a tight embrace. He buried his face into Sirius' chest and listened to Sirius' soft voice console him.

Sirius could understand, couldn't he? He also had unwanted attention and fame, only for different reasons. 

They sat there on the bed, Harry wrapped in Sirius' embrace as the moon smiled softly down on them. 

Harry knew it would end sooner than he liked for his godfather had to leave. Had to keep moving to avoid capture. 

All to soon that time came as Sirius held Harry tightly and was gone in the blink of an eye.

Harry fell on his bed, his heart and life a little lighter.

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It's not easy to be me.......

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A/N: How did you all like it? I did alter the song at the end, with the scar thing and the love being far. How did you all like it? Please review and put what you think. Thanx

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Be strong America

~*Dumbledore's True Love*~


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